trust ((資料來源: 某論文節錄

當親子間無法建立友誼分享的關係因素包括以下：
1.拿放大鏡看待孩子的每項小事情，做出過度反應、失去冷靜，包括言語的刺激
與貶抑的嘮叨。
2.不理會孩子的意見，單方面設立嚴格或不講理的規定。
3.利用恐懼和威嚇來教養子女，會造成孩子使用欺騙的方式回應，而非共同設定
彼此應當遵守的規則。
4.屈服於孩子的要求，一味的姑息懷柔，會造成予取予求。
 My opinion:
In brief, I think I should share this article with my mom...
For an example that happened today(around 7:30P.M.) I went to 高偉 this afternoon, because of my undone homework, my mother agreed me that I could go home by myself and do them. "You need to buy dinner first." She said so.
And I did what she said.(After rushing out the MRT station at 6:30, I went to Mcdonald near my home and bought my dinner) Everything seemed fine. But when I finally steped in my room and checked my cellphone, I saw 6 phone calls from my mom. What made me frown was because the time: 7:08, 7:09,7:10,7:11,7:13,7:14(I can show you guys picture if you want to see = =)
I called her, then I became "A teenage girl that must went out with somebody that her parents don't know and rather die than tell the truth." And all I could say was "What the hell you are thinking!"And of couse, I didn't dare to tell her that.
I was almost lost control of my motion when she told me, "Hey kid, you can tell me who did you went out with, I won't say a word if you tell the truth. By the way, don't use facebook or line, you know my cellphone can read all your mails."
According to the paragragh, she had perfectly done 1 on the list. Well, 2and 33 is because I can't get another example right now.

How could you let your children feel that he or she is be respected if he or she has nothing called
(useless)privacy? How can they really let you understand them just like a friend if you don't made them feel comfortable to stay with you?
Trust is not the excuse to let parents satisfy their control over thier children.



親子相處模式中，必須建立信任的基礎。造成不信任的因素有幾項：
1.只要親子其中一方不守承諾，不信任的高牆便會開始堆砌。
2.有時孩子並不希望父母知道自己的行為，欺瞞之下，信任度隨之瓦解。
3.習慣性地質疑對方動機，也會築起不信任的高牆。
4.當親子一方沒有作出承諾，另一方卻抱著期待，這個未能實現的期待，也會造
成不信任的高牆。
5.如果拒絕讓孩子自己作決定，孩子性格容易變成依賴或叛逆這兩極化，並且不
信任我們的判斷。
6.忽視、拒絕雖非父母的初衷，然而有時卻會在無意間帶給孩子這種感覺。

感覺到不信任已經入侵親子關係時，應立即採取行動，以下五個步驟：
1.作出簡單的承諾，並且確實遵守。
2.當信任遭破壞時，不要灰心放棄，或者情緒化。
3.習慣性地質疑對方動機，也會築起不信任的高牆。與其試圖猜測對方動機，不
如直接開口問自己須要知道的事。
4.當親子一方沒有作出承諾，另一方卻抱著期待，這個未能實現的期待，也會造
成不信任的高牆。
5.如果我們拒絕讓孩子自己作決定，孩子性格容易變成依賴或叛逆這兩極化，並
且不信任我們的判斷。

你不能控制孩子怎麼說、怎麼做，卻可以控制自己的言行。先從自身開始改
變起，相信孩子的態度也會被改變。
如果問題是在於孩子，身為家長，你也當主動找孩子把問題談開，和孩子正面分
享感受，即使過程遇到挫敗，也別放棄，只要你願意堅持，愛必然溶化僵局。
重建親子間的友誼，勢必須要付上時間的代價。首先，要回過頭檢視高牆形成
的原因，探索移除的方法，記住，認錯是移除高牆的開始

The point is that the only person who is wrong will never be her.
And even though I tried to talk to her, the attitude that she showed always made me feel uncomfortable and began to lose control of myself.
But I really want her not to keep saying that " Just listen to what I say! Children shouldn't talk back!"